I'm cold

It just so happens that now I have a window and a view at work, but with it also chills. I can see the sun-lit building across the street, but it doesn't feel so sunny and warm inside.
I was supposed to talk yesterday to my future room-mate about the process of going through the separation, but she didn't call. And she wrote me an email that we will talk tonight. Things are never easy. The countries, the borders, the laws the broken hearts......

On the positive note we still talk at home and it isn't bad. I was thinking yesterday that the only love feelings I've got left is like for a close relative, which is a very strong feeling. But I can't live on the platonic or whatever this family love is. I'm commiting adultry in my dreams everynight, unconsously....and that should say somthing about my state of mind ......that I'm going crazy, plain CRAZY for real love.

Yet another time I'm reminded of beware of what you are wishing for. In my instance it became true and yet after years of living together it's not at all what my heart is wanting for a long term or even present life.
Ok, the lunch is here - company treating us, on the very day that I finally decided to bring in my lunch:)