sweet cookies

mmmm ... someone at work had the good idea of ordering lunch for everyone today. I'm having a chewy, chewy peanutbutter cookie for desert, tastes sooo good:)
And well, it is gone.
Today I got to work a bit late, but nothing that I can't improve upon. Well if my husband wouldn't continue sleeping while I'm getting ready and then I didn't have to wait on him I would probably do a good job of getting here on time. I don't understand why he needs a ride really, since the metro is 15. min. walk away. But oh well, I guess the final attempt of bonding is taking place, which is not happening for real.
My mind is on other things already, not at all willing to be put back into the barrel with lid shut. I think I'm getting over even the feelings of habit everydayness that has kept me where I am for a long time. It was so hard to confess and once I did it the truth is just flying off of my lips when I'm in need of it at home.

I was wondering what my next relationship will be like. For a second there I thought last week that I would like to be a risk taker and not care about consequences in the relationship. I wouldn't care if I was the only one, if he was the only one etc. But I think I do.
I'm a monogomist deep at heart. Don't know if it is sad, bad or good for me?????!!!! But making out and kissing is about as far as I will go with someone if I'm not the only one, even if I can't guarrantee that the other person will be the only one in my life. Strange.
Maybe I'm just saying it now.
I thought I will take it all the way last week with a certain someone, but I didn't. I couldn't. And once I established that I couldn't I lost some of the attraction for the person. And that's it, the moment was gone. And I'm actually glad.
Well for now just dreaming is the only safehaven again. How lonely for me:) ha ha ha