so here it is ......summer

it is soooooo incredably hot outside today expecially if you have to do work outside and run between one building mearusing and the other and no place to park the car......
crazy Tuesday. I'm finally back in the office and it is nice and cool here. I don't particularrly say it offen that I like cold but today my cube is a blessing. I think time might have come to hit the beech u know? If it stays like that for more than a week it's a definite beech weather. Uhh yeah.

first crazy hot Sunday

I think I sweated this morning more than in the whole past month. It is sooooooo humid and I have retreated to work, where I usually freeze in my cube during the week but today it is very pleasant.
Yeah , so it is Sunday and I'm working....not a big deal. I kindda like it today. Relaxing and feels good to do something productive.
Friday night we went out to Brickceller with my co-workers and later my roommate joined in. I got to taste a home beer again and some others and it was a good time. And later on we went to dance and danced untill my clothes were almost soaking wet. I haven't dance like that for sometime now and it felt so good.
Althought I was hoping to be joined by a person that has gotten deeper under my veines than I had courage to admit....he didn't - instead called around 3.30 and left a message that I can come and visit him next morning early.....a slap in the face....because he had just returned himself home and was most likely having fun with someone else not me.....
...must learn quick how to not put out my vulnerable side out there and be rejected so soon.
I guess the game is complicated and I haven't learned the rules.

.......:)

I need to be huged today and I really need to hug someone today.
Hm...what are the chances of me doing either of them?
It's so slow today....meeting in the morning but email and messenger are dead silent. Is everyone really that busy with themselves and so preoccupied with all the things their doing? I so need a friend to chat with and maybe more than a friend. I need someone to cuddle with. I need someone to like. I need someone for long night walks and movies and coktails and happy hours and dances and love.....
I so want to be in love and be loved.

too busy again

...aaaaahhhh for a second day straigh I have to stay late at work. I don't want to believe that it is all because of the holiday Monday off but it is pointing to that and our crazy client.
Got home only at 12.00midnight last night....I wouldnt mind coming home that late from a party but from work is no fun.
...trying my best to wrap up this stuff so that I can get outta here in the next hour and see the " Sex and the City" episode that I missed last night:)

hm...and my email was kind a slow today....almost noone sent anything new and interesting. Guess everyone is pretty busy and in their own lives doing things. Missing a friend who is having fun in Europe and wishing some people around town would make a call....but I decided to be patient and not put myself out there like I foolishly did last week. I guess people don't handle raw emotions well... they want it all boxed in and given to them bit by bit....not like me just telling my mind and wishes and getting pushed back.

God....another time I so clearly see the meaning of the phrase "Be careful what u wish for"...because I made a wish to be able to experiance the hurt and pain and pleasure of a normal relationship not like the one I've been in for the past 7 years (emotionless)...
...and here I am....waiting and longing and hoping and.....
the emotions that I was so affraid to face when I was 17...hopping on the adult bus too fast....

...but this time I am ready. I will take it all (no skipping this time)...bad or good and hope that all the feeling and emotions only enrich one's life for better.