one of THOSE nights again

..here I am again...the clocks have shifted all and all today. I'm eating my cereal and it is 9.00p.m. I had soup for breakfast today because my body either didn't tolerate the 5 beers that I had last night while hanging out with BD and seeing Ice Cube live or maybe the quarte of Rum & Raisin ice-cream did me in, but soup was a good start for the day. Not complaining of the cereal either but I'm feeling condemned again becaus instead of taking my car home from the garage I reparked it and came back to work. Now having a moment of cereal and blogging and then back to work. Everyone has left and more than once the thought crossed my mind to just give up and go home. To see if anyone will care in the morning. But I know my phone will ring and actually I need to send an email to one person who will not be getting their package tomorrow morning like I promissed he would because noone offered me any help today and between updating the specs and getting together the revised CID package somehow I didn't have time to worry about the darn tabs and copying all of the supporting plans or making the indexes that need to go in the book. So here I am again. And I wonder why do I care? Tomorrow is another day and everyone always wanted everything yesterday and a lot of people very well live that way, leave the unfinished for tomorrow because tomorrow will always be there....most likely. I'm not sure how my work will every work out if I ever have family and children. If I was to continue the hours I work I would probably leave me if I were the other person. So maybe all of my inner winning for a close sole, a warm hand in mine and lite caresses of the skin have a silver lining for not having had happened yet? Because when would I be able to feel them.

While in front of the copier tonight I was thinking how someone I know "peaches" always manages to get her presentation material together. I do remember her telling that she times herself very well. And I had to think of my clocking abilities tonight, there was an hour left to get the stuff out for FedEx overnight and I realized I will not get it out and I slowed down. I think I refused to get it out because it wasn't going to be the best it can be if I had more time, so I made myself more time and therefore tomorrow morning I will have to write an email justifying not having sent out the package that wasn't complete. But is it all my responsibility? What more could I have done today. I'm spending already here wee hours and I don't think I should have to do all this on my own. Everyone is so busy that even the priorities are not priorities anymore in comparison to disasters that fall on your head:) not funny but I can't keep thinking how unorganized sometimes everything is. There is a moment of short glimpse of order once in a long while and then immediatelly it gets swept away by tonns of things that needed to be given to the end user yesterday or today. Everything takes time and more time and more and more and more time. I start to appreciate the time that I have. I'm getting very mad at all the stupid credit card companies that keep sending me crap to respond to, the companies like DHL who can't find the address and I have to call them and tell them where exactly I live and that no it isn't a new construction in Alexandria, it has existed for a while now...things like that irritate the bg's out of me!
Ok. I've vented I need to go back and lock myself in the copy room until I produce 3 copies of CID books at least as far as I can take them. I hope to be able to be in bed by 12 midnight under fluffy covers.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

smiling for my roommate

I'm sitting in my room it is 13 min before midnight and they're jamming away on the keyboard and a gittare....just attempted to play I believe something by EAGLES:) and it made me smile. You don't expect certain music to come out thought anyone elses voice but the original singer:) expecially I think the voices downstairs are still young:) not that I'm old ha ha ha It gives me this tickly feeling inside when I hear other people sing. Because I would absolutelly love to be doing it myself, a hidden wish. But I think my perfectionist side will always be in my way, because if I don't sing perfectly I'm ashamed to sing at all...not a very encouraging characteristic. I don't know how to explain it. One of the weekend days is over already. I will be marching to work tomorrow morning and starting my workweek early. By now I just consider it a expected hazard that comes with working int he design industry:) nothing to do about it. Allright:) I guess today has been productive to some degree. I got a lot of new music and most of it I like. Itunes is addictive and will put me in finacial deficit if I will learn to control myself:)

practicing pool

pool at Domku
the "peaches" are sweet:)

so the weekend is passing by with big steps. I think my favorite part of the week still is Friday night. It seems it is like a culmination of the week, things have been finished and the lid has been taken of the pot and the steem is just gushing out. Everyone's relaxing, letting loose and living it up no matter how the saturday comes!

tip, tap, toe home I go:)

he he heeeee. It is 8.30p.m. and I'm writting my final words for the day in here. Ready to take my flat behind (from sitting all day) and go home sweet home. Day was all right. Got pointed out that I did the wrong count on the waiting room chairs for the hospital. My honest mistake, don't always make friends with Excel so I accidently doubled all the tabs which amounted to initiating of ordering double of all furniture. But thankfully the mistake was cought on time and I won't have to pay out of my own pocket for 100's of chairs...ugh...well maybe not...but....I admited my guilt and all is fine. It's been so far the biggest mistake I've made in my short career. Actually it is insane considering the schedule we're under. The hospital is opening for business in August and we're still working ont he CD's for it and giving bit's to contractor as we go. And the client still keeps changing their mind about placement of walls yet at the end we turn out to be the one's that are holding up the construction? This industry is crazy awlays, not most of the time. The client for some reason always is right, the money is right.

I so want to go to bed. I want my 8 hours of sleep. Must resist the temptation to sit by the computer till the wee house of midnight, and should instead invest in some needed sleep. Ok. that's about it for today. Bye bye diary.

work here you've chained me again

started out fully determined to do something big today...but it is approaching 7is and all I've done is ran around all day. I figured thought the color combo's for the wall, so that's an accomplishement:) small...but at least it is easier to go ahead now with the finish schedule...

weekend were are you....another 4 days ahead before the relaxing and more relaxing. Bills are way over my head, I haven't had a chance to look at my statements for a while now. I'm afraid to look at them, fearing what I might have missed. The grown-up world and the responsibilities. No way to push a button and stop the monthly time run of statements, due dates and deadlines.
...trying to think of my upcoming vacation. How much time I can spend in Latvia and when exactly. I also want to go to visit my dad, althought I'm scared. The month in mind is August right now. So probably beginning of the month in Latvia and end of the month in Bulgaria. However I barely have 6 days gathered on my vacation slip so I'm not so sure how things will work out. The time without pay should be close to out of the question with all the stuff I've gotten myself into. But I would definitelly want to go and be a part of my cousin's wedding on August 5th. That would be awsome. I only remember being in weddings and funerals as a small child in Latvia. The vivid memories of all grown-ups in their own world and us - children in our own, tonns of food and drinks and music and doing all things you're not allowed to do - noone's watching:)

ok....should type couple more item for the finish schedule and maybe then it will be time to go home....