I'm nervous

...sitting through the last hours at work.
I received couple emails from my past to be, pushing me to separate our financial interests. For the first time I'm realizing that he might be playing the game I thought he would be too kind to play, and I'm realizing that maybe he didn't used to be such a selfless man as I used to think he is. For the first time I'm realizing that I better harden fast and leave all the idilic ideas of a friendly future existance behind and understand that money has started to rule our paths.
I feel week and scared and pressured. So cinical, I was offered a free TV for the fast and speedy resolution of finances:) when it is well known by this society ( and finally I'm starting to believe it too) that I do deserve more then what I presummed myself worthy of receiving. I don't want to deal with it and yet I feel that spite is growing inside of me and I will fight. Were unfairly treated I will welcome the adrenaline rush that a self-defense mechanism produces.

It is Friday again, lots of things to do over the weekend. Foremost the front lawn needs major weeding, maybe in the last hours of this evening. I need to start thinking about packing for my home and need to think of little small something's for the loved ones. And while dealing with all of that the Monday will be here again too soon.

Lidz Pirmdienai:)