stress?...does anyone has it less?

...ouch my feet hurt...for a sitting job I've been walking alot today...well around the office primarily to and fro the library, picking stuff...mostly materials not my nose:)....
I think I get stressed really easily but! ( having a de.javu..because I've talked about this already in this blog some time ago)...I slow down because of stress and tend to drag the process out longer instead of finishing it up 1, 2..well unless the deadline is like 15 min away and I don't have a choice.
We have a meeting tomorrow morning at 10.00a.m. I need a bit of sleep before that..Last night i had such a good sleep..after drinking half a bottle of wine with Lyzzy girl and her "lego" friend...i slept so tight i missed my alarm clock this morning and slept soundly a whole hour passed the wake-up time....still miraculously made it to work somewhat on time:)...drove....$11.chi-ching... life right?
...was supposed to close on the new place today, but it was postponed till tomorrow...so once the meeting is over hopefully noon, i'll take a straight shot for a final walk-through of the space and then will sign my life away for a second time...really actually it isn't so bad at all..meaning signing the life away...it's not like they can do a lot about it or i can do a lot about it....everything is some sort of process and if you want to live you have to collaborate with the process and agree to certain things...like paying mortgage on time....
...on an amazing note...my friendster "allo garaz":):):) got married today with my favorite drummer....BIG CONGRATS TO THEM....hopefully I'll see them tonight and will be able to salute them with a shot of something....strong and alcoholic...I remember when I did it....we had pizza for dinner....it was late 10.10p.m....both my lucky numbers but it hasn't turned out so well in the end....for the marriage....but what can you do but to live on and try to make the best out of whats left and what will come. and i think good things are to come. i think future is just another form of the "grass is greener on the other side". the past when i look back seems so idilic and nice yet when given a choice i think i wouldn't want to live any of the moments from the past for a second time...why is that? if it was so nice? it's cause we know the past and no matter how great - we're familiar with it...but future is a mistery...filled with big rum & raisin ice-cream cones waiting for me to indulge:)...i'm allowed to dream am i not?:)..well but the fact is that the hope is there that the future will be better then the past and that's why it is worth looking forward.
...i think i need to leave work now..i'm about fully spent for one day...i can take only so many 11 hour days in a row....i can't imagine what will happen if i ever have children...how do people combine work and family is a big mistery to me yet...

smiles...
hugs..
outro.

happy thanksgiving....ny, ny

...there is a little burned smell in the air:) but it is nice because my friend made it and it is the first smell of the thanksgiving dinner to come.....peaches and eric are making the fiest .....mmmmm ...uuuuhuuu...yum, yum....and I'm doing nothing....:)

and by the way it feels good to do nothing.... I got here kind of late last nite, much later then anticipated...the damn chinatown bus was 3 hours late...and once we got on it there was no heat it was broken...but all was not bad. I had a good companion - David - who also happened to be going to NY and 5 hours flew by in conversation...and I realized that it has been a while since it was easy to spend 5 hours like that, not really caring what exactly you talk about ( well a little bit) but to just talk and enjoy the conversation and not worry about the impressions or stuff you say....hm....refreshing. i realized that i do talk a lot in certain circumstances...well the circumstance has to be just right...but i can be a chatter box and it probably can be quite annoying he he....i guess long gone are the days were i didn't participate in the conversation due to shyness or some sorts..... but it is amazing the people you can meet on the bus....so many different people take the bus it is the "melting pot" in it's literal meaning...put a whole bunch of different people together and let them "stew" for 5 hours till the NY. and upon exit you've learned something new and met someone new and maybe have a more open mind and more appreciation for the people again....
...i had the occuring realization again that i love people (well it might not have been very apparent towards the chinese origin bus operating crew that arrived 3 hours late) but in general people are wonderful... (ok this statement is contingent upon the china town bus arriving on time tomorrow upon my departure from NY):)

..hm..so i guess this might lead me to my holliday thankfullness for having so many wonderful people around me who make this/ my life so beautiful and colorful, my friends and co-workers who make me laugh and who make me grow and develop, my friends and acquaintances who are giving me opportunities to develop personally and financially, my friends who give me advice that is useful and gives me and insight into things without having to spend days and weeks realizing the truth on my own (althought that is useful as well) ...my friends who shelter me and feed me and spend time with me and let me talk about my problemS and life and listen when i talk (paldies LBJ):) but in general...thank you for all the people who surround me and who are who they are around me and who let me be who i am around them and who like me for who i am be it fool, dork, woman, silly girl, interior designer, co-worker, friend or just a human being.....this life is beautiful...

darn late work hours

being late at work
doesn't feel like a reward
staring endless hours at screen
wondering where I could have been instead
lights have disappeared on streets
i have to produce 5 sheets
by tomorrow before sunrise
i won't get no sleep...surprise, surprise!
can't wait to put my rear on the bus
and leave behind all the stress and fuss
and meet my friend of close and far
i hope we make it to the bar
ny, ny oh here i come
i promise i will have all things done
tomorrow after three i can shout and screem
good times will be real and not just a dream!

he he he...so I'm at work. and taking a break which will prolong my habitation here under horrible fluorescent lights in the wee hour of 11.00p.m. I need to get done by 1.30p.m. so i told myself if i want to catch the last train home and get my laughable 3 hours of sleep before the big Wednesday. I'm gong to NY, NY to visit peaches:) and taste treats and turkey prepared by her skilled hand:) well if she let's me I can wash her dishes again and reignite the unison once again of rhythmatic existance in the kitchen if only for a day:)...
..my right elbow feels like it will fall off shortly..I think I've had it rest on the desk for bout 13 hours now with slight interruptions...wonder what it will feel like when I hit 60 at some point in the future..but that's a far theory to ponder...
I'm looking at my dad's postcard and right about now I would be real happy to be sleeping in my bed back in Nesebr after a healthy Bulgarian meal and a good talk with my dad about everything and nothing....And maybe peak my head outside the window and look at the twinkling lights across the bay before closing my eyes and letting the dreams take over...
...just a wish...

ok...now my knee is aching:) ha haaaaaa ok.back to work maybe I can get outta here in some forseeable future.....(yawn):)

a strange weekend...

I was just cruising on the internet trying to find something useful to do in the last hours of the Sunday nite before sleep and I realized I haven't written anything for awhile and hence my weekend is almost over I could write a few sentences here.....

...I guess firstly....I got yelled at for putting my roommates clothes in the dryer without her permission....:) I didn't do it on purpose but oh well.....that's the consequence of living with people who take things incredibly seriously in life....like their underware not being allowed to dry in the dryer.....I think that probably there is some deeper reasoning behind her unsatisfaction with me...because the thump-thump running up the stairs was crazy to have just originated from me putting clothes in the dryer....ufff..actually can't wait to get away from her and move to my own place...
....well secondly...there was an event yesterday that I attended to with friends and in order to support friend and I was told something that knocked me off my feet for a day and kind of spoiled all the fun I was supposed to have Saturday nite. Fortunatelly, I recovered this morning and all is well in the professional world again and I can expect to be swamped with work continually for the coming holliday season as well as hopefully next year. ...... oh and the eel wasn't sitting well in my stomahc for quite some time during the nite.....a reminder to myself to be careful with fishy treats.
....thirdly...:) hm is there thirdly:)...well alltogether it was an ok weekend....
...I had a brunch on Saturday with a nice guy, smart, modest and courtious:)....it makes me smile thinking about interacting with polite people. Sometimes I think because I tend to be cinical I overstep the norms on politeness during the conversation and produce a counter-acting smile on my face when someone tries to be polite. I understand it might be off-putting to a person but I don't do it on purpose. I enjoy the amusement of being able to observe the politeness in progress:)...I guess it isn't happening so often nowadays and I'm so used to not meeting polite people who try to be extra carefull with you that when it happens it is like miracle...:) ok I should stop using smily faces now:).....ok I stopped:)....now.....
....I have an interview tomorrow morning with the university....if it goes well I will have arms full come January and I will be able to clame myself a student again, even if partial.....I expect to like being spoon-fed theory on design again...should be fun....ok...it will be better then that I'm sure...I know it all depends on how much of myself I'll be willing to put into it. I expect I will want to put a lot of myself into it - meaning studying....
....ok.... and for the ending...
this is a little verve that leeked out of my head today while at work trying to concentrate and assemble materials for the project....

....the morning light awoke me but I keep dreaming
I walk the streets of cold wind and wet rain and I don't feel it.

I could be here, but I don't think I am.
If I were somewhere else I wouldn't give a damn.
To exist in a state of daydreaming is not who I normally am.

What brought it on, I'm not quite sure
Like buying 2 for the price of 1 deal - it lured me in.
It was something important, it must have been.
For me to leave myself in a tunnel of dreams.

....he he he...well since I promissed not to use smiley faces I have to express my laughter somehow.....ugh..ok I'll stop. It's almost 10.00p.m. and I need to start winding down hence I need to wake up at 6.00a.m. and I need my sweet 8 hours of sleep.

good night

Sons of Dissobediance in Concert:)

 

weekend gone...

it is early Monday mornng about 2.00a.m. and it is the very latest to get myself to bed, because tomorrow will be inevitably a long day, as Mondays usually are.
This past weekend was nice and relaxing and fun in a way. Started of with a gallery visit in Friendship Heights Friday night with friends to look at "Taled of two cities - Rio and Sao Paulo" vintage photos after which all in attendence were invited to go to 18th street lounge for continued admiration of old photos in digital movie format intermixed with some really tasty food and drinks:)
Sat. nite...house party with international theme going on unfortunatelly people don't get into dress-up so I and few other people were the only ones ready and willing to make fun of ourselves, but it is other's loss...It is fun to dress up.
Tonight.....concert at Galaxy Hit in support of "Sons of Dissobediance" a nice little groovie rock band plus friends that need support:)....
so here it is...the Monday is about 5 hours away and I'm dieing to get some sleep:)....
good nite:)