need a vacation

so here's the deal...must have a vacation soon. I don't think I've had one in what like 3 years... a serious vacation. I want to let go and get out of everyday, and everyday thougths.
So far so good in my new settings. Friends treating me nice and slowly, slowly the sobbing feeling and the deep sorrow for another is starting to crawl away.
Attachment can be so strong a feeling alsmost feels like love - it is so tricky in it's enveloping form. Maybe I should revert to the old good saying "time heels all wounds" altough I'm sure there will be oponents to this saying as well...but for now it sounds good to my heart.

From all the turmoil of trying to pick the right paths of travel in my life and silly advising others on love matters (which I feel more and more strongly I'm not to partake of anymore) I feel the creativity has left the house. The desire for new material and inspiration has reached an all time low and that's expecially a strong sign that I need new energy's and experiances soon.

It is so tireing to be constantly thinking about everyday stuff over and over and over. Am I right? Am I wrong? Should I or shouldn't I that I feel I'm incapable of thinking about anything decent at all anymore. What happened to my potry writting years, what happened to my singing years, where have gone the smells and happy sounds of wind and rain and grass and bugs, I can't hear anything anymore.....


I've been catching up on email with my friend from Pitt....she told me today that she feels like I'm an old friend from childhood:) I laughed in my head how it almost didn't happen - me not understanding her caracter and personality at the beginning when I first met her and almost not making the connection that has now lasted 6 years.
Then I remebered how I was going thought a hug therapy with my friends and friends of friends trying to erase my shyness to hug people whe I feel a strong need inside to hug them.
I hate the feeling when you meet someone and you know you should hug them or your body wants to continue the travel towards the hugging but your brain halts you in the process. As well when people part they should always hug, because if you don't you feel (or at least I feel ) like I haven't said a proper good-bye and/or closed the circle of communication with the person. You meet - you hug - you talk - you laugh - you leave - you hug (circle closed).

Ohhh...why is my head so empty! I wish I knew what I want to do useful after work, or how to enrich myself. I've been having the most difficult time of reading the book I started 'bout 2 months ago now.... "The rule of Four" and I'm crawling throught the pages.
Ok... let my head rest:)