sunday nite thoughts

I have a friend who had a boyfriend leave her recently. I talked to her today and she told me she's been crying for days. Yet whenever I spoke with her during the last 2 months she always seemed to be unsatisfied with him and always refered to him in some sort of mean fashion. I even suggested her at some point to leave him if she's got so many dissatisfactions and dislikes with him. Yet now he left her and suddenly she tells me that she always thought what a nice guy he was. How he took all of her "crap" for so long so he must be the one. She spoke of changing for him, trying to contain herself and her "mean" explosions. But she's not mean. I don't understand. I think he just wasn't right for her. U should have to change for anyone. What u are right now is the sum of all your past lessons and experiances. If things are in constant friction between two people that things just aren't right. I know, I know if for example you one day realize you're a total a-hole for somereason and you want to change yourself because of that realization that I think that's admirable, but if another person keeps telling you that you need to change this and that to be better things just aren't right.
I was hoping for changes in my husband for years, I didn't like this and that. I was waiting for him to quit doing this and that, to act a certain way to want certain things, at the end I realized I have no right to ask for these changes. That's who he is and he is beautiful for that reason, it is just that I am not adapting to his behaviors and I can't live with them long term, maybe someone else can and will. It didn't make either of us happy trying and waiting for each of us to change for a long time. It is very painful to part I agree, I still hurt for the closeness of him, because he listened very well and was attentive in many ways. I miss the feeling of concern in his voice, his gentlmenly ways. I never denied that he is a very smart man. And I miss his smartness. I miss the feeling of belonging that marriage gives. But I wasn't happy in all aspects of our relationship and I had to let it go. So I 'm not sure where I've gone with this, I guess I'm sad that my friend feels a loss even though she wasn't happy with him that's what I felt from her.
But she's sad now and I think she might be wrong this time and blaming herself for the end of the relationship. I wish there was no hurt in the breakups but I think that it is good too to learn from the pain and I hope she gets past it fast.