to exist

The hardest job to do
is to make yourself see each day
the usefulness of one's existance,
the necessity to carry on,
the contribution made at the end of the day.

Am I blind or blind folded?
Sometimes it seems I don't understand
what am I holding.
The thing in my hands, my life
feels like it is getting stabbed
each passing day with a naked knife.

Lost cause or lost way,
not sure which one is worst.
Feels like I'm familiar with both.
Now looking for a door out.

Not understanding, completely in the dark.
Where the road is leading?
Did I take a wrong turn,
were my eyes misleading?