the holliday without a holliday feel

so it is another Monday...maybe good maybe not so good. I felt very sad last nite, still rumaging through myself to find the reasons why. Had a very nice dinner with friends, yet at the end of the nite I was feelin very lonely. I was thinking about things like....people usually speak about other people and what they don't like in them and I remembered in high school we used to tease each other how the things you find in other people that you don't like are actually the things in yourself that you refuse to see as your own faults but you tend to pick it up very well in others. Hm.... just thinking and thinking.

Here's another one of my little soul searching poems of the nite:

It isn't all fun and games,
I was a foolish and dreamer girl,
When the clock hit around twelve,
All magic away in the wind swirrled.

I was a foolish and dreamer girl,
I allowed my hopes to carry me on,
Then the end of the road suddenly showed
and the joy was suddenly gone.

I allowed my hopes to carry me on
Didn't know what to do if I loose.
The feeling of love was foreign to me,
so naive, I let my heart bruise.

Did not know what to do if I lost,
the battle of finding myself.
Still I'm dreaming of winning this war
of disfunction of every day.

I'm hoping that everyday I can get a little bit closer to finding my way. Was reading a book over the past week on finding answers. Cause that's what I seem to be looking for, but there was a paragraph in it that said that the life is to look for answers not to find them. If you've found an answer you're misleading yourself. I think it could work for me, because I don't see there being an answer out there, there are always more questions to come and there always seem to be a side unaccounted for.